Depression
Persons of the Dialogue
Director
Friend
"Everything seems bleak."
"You feel that way now?"
"Not so much when I'm talking to you."
"When you're alone?"
"Yes, but when I'm with most other people, too - sometimes worse."
"Why is it better with me?"
"You understand."
Director frowned. "What do I understand?"
"You know - what it means to be depressed, really depressed," said Friend.
"How do you think I know that?"
"Have you been depressed?"
Director leaned back in his chain and considered the question. "I've had moments when everything seems bleak."
"Moments?"
"Yes."
"The feeling lasts for long stretches of time with me."
"Is there anything in particular that brings it on?"
"I really don't know. It seems it could be anything, everything."
"Besides things seeming bleak, what else happens?"
"I can't concentrate. I can't think. I can't remember things. I get physically weak and feel I need to sit down and do nothing. I get morally weak and feel that I'm a coward. I can't talk to people properly. Is that how you feel when you have your moments?"
"Not all those things together, no. But I can relate to them individually. Maybe that's the difference. You get all of it at once. You get overwhelmed."
"How do you snap out of it, whatever it is with you?"
"I find something to change."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
"What do you change?"
"Either my mind or someone else's mind. My mind if I'm wrong about something. Someone else's mind if he's wrong about it. Often times those who are wrong about something try to impose their wrong headedness on me. That can cause me one of the symptoms we're discussing. If I can show him he's wrong the imposition stops."
"Yes, but then the persecution begins," said Friend in a defeated tone.
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Nick Pappas, pappasnick.typepad.com
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