Insulting
"You have to be smart to do something like that," President said somewhat dejectedly.
"Now what are you talking about? You're as smart as they come."
"They gave me a cognitive test here."
"And?"
"And I don't think I did very well."
"Do you know what the purpose of the test was?"
"To see how smart I am."
"I think they just wanted to see how you'd react to the test, to make sure your mental functioning wasn't somehow grossly impaired. What did they ask you?"
"First they wanted to know the year, then the month, then the date, then the day of the week, and then what time it was. I almost couldn't do it! I was so nervous."
"How close were you on the time, assuming you got all the rest right?"
"Within ten minutes."
"See? You did very well. What else did they ask?"
"They wanted me to name national presidents, starting with today's and working backwards."
"How did that go?"
"I got back into the 'fifties and they told me to stop."
"Again, you did very well. What else?"
"They wanted me to count backwards from one hundred by sevens. I could barely do it! I was so embarrassed."
"But you did?"
"I did."
"And they stopped you when you got far enough?"
"They did. But I felt so stupid. It wasn't easy! And what would have happened if I had been too nervous to do it? They would have thought my mind wasn't functioning properly - and all because of nerves, a terrible mistake because of something simple like that! How many people does that happen to?"
"I don't know," Director said quietly. "But it didn't happen to you."
"No, it didn't."
"Did you feel they were insulting your intelligence?"
"Yes! But I was too scared to feel indignant. And yet you know what thought came to mind while I was with them? You would never have any trouble with a test like that. You're always cool, always collected."
"Is that how it seems? How do you know how it feels to me?"
"I know enough about you, my friend to know that what you see is truly what you get - which is ironic, given the fact that nobody wants to believe it."
"You mean they think I'm duplicitous?" Director asked casually, with a smirk he could barely contain from breaking into a full grin.
"That is exactly what they think you are. But let's say for argument's sake that you seem to be cooler on the surface than you actually are on the inside. Well, there are degrees to these things. A slight annoyance might be enough to send me over the edge on the outside - sweating, shaking, and so on. A slight annoyance might not even register with you. Suppose there is a great calamity. That might be enough to make you look the way that I look under the slightest amount of duress."
"Suppose what you're saying is true, and I have some sort of higher tolerance for these things. What do you think that means?"
"Do you mean how do I account for it? I suppose it is your experience, your training in life that tells."
"You don't think it's because I'm the better liar?"
President sighed. "Maybe it is. What do I need to do?"
Director laughed. "What, you mean to become a better liar? Even if I could, why would I want to teach you that?"
"So I can be more like you!" It came out even before President realized he'd said it.
Director shook his head. "Do you really think I'm a liar? Do I lie to you?"
"One question at a time. Do you lie to me? No, I don't believe you do, unless you are trying to protect me from something."
"Are lies how friends protect one another?"
President felt ashamed. "No, I guess not."
"What's your answer to the other question?"
"Do I think you're a liar?" President looked at a loss. "I suspect you do indeed lie, to bad people."
"What's the basis for that suspicion?"
"I guess it is that I believe I would do the same, if I were up to it."
Director smiled. "You never lie?"
"Oh, I do. But I feel like I'm transparent when I do."
"And you think I'm opaque?"
President nodded. "That's what I want to learn - opacity."
"If I remember my definitions," Director said with one eye narrowed, "opacity is a state of mental dullness. Perhaps I can teach you this."
END
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Nick Pappas, pappasnick.typepad.com
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